Pain Free Birth

CALM, BEAUTIFUL…the way it should be

What if birth could be calm, pain free – with no drugs?

I had this kind of birth. It was incredible! And you can too! I hope my story will encourage you to believe this is possible.

I still look back and just…marvel. I look at my son and still remember moment I held him for the first time. It is not just about the birth. It is about the beginning of a beautiful relationship that goes on for a lifetime. Do not be robbed into thinking that you can expect trauma, drugs and screaming in agony. Who wants that?!

What do you want for your birth? What do you see? What do you imagine it to be like? Because what you see will happen. You are NOT helpless in this process. What you do can make the difference to your birth.

[Disclaimer: this is not medical advice. Your pregnancy and birth needs to be supervised by medical professionals. This is about how you prepare, mentally and physically and emotionally for birth.]

We were designed to give birth!

Physiologically we are DESIGNED to give birth without pain. The muscles in the uterus are all perfectly designed to work together to do the job of labour and birth with no pain.

That might sound obvious. But once I had that as a profound revelation and had facts to back it up, I felt unstoppable.

Why do so many of us have pain during birth?

We are afraid.

And that fear stops the body doing its job.

Let’s explore what is happening and empower you towards a pain free birth.

How Fear Affects Labour – And What You Can Do About It

Most people think pain is just part of giving birth. But what if the way we feel — especially fear — actually makes labour harder and more painful than it needs to be?

The Fear–Tension–Pain Cycle

When you feel afraid during labour, your body kicks into stress mode — just like it would if you were running from danger. Your brain floods your system with adrenaline, and your muscles tense up.

That includes the muscles in your uterus — the very ones that are supposed to be working to help you give birth.

But here’s the catch: if those muscles are tense, they start pulling in different directions. It’s like trying to move your arm while flexing both your biceps and triceps at the same time. It doesn’t work. It hurts.

This tension:

  • Slows down contractions
  • Makes labour longer
  • Increases pain
  • Prevents your cervix from opening properly

And once pain increases, fear increases. Which causes more tension. Which causes more pain.

It’s a cycle:
Fear → Tension → Pain → More Fear

But the good news is — this cycle can be broken.

Your Uterus Is Smarter Than You Think

Here’s what your uterus is meant to do during labour:

  • The inner horizontal muscles relax to let the cervix open.
  • The outer vertical muscles contract to help pull the cervix open and guide the baby down.

These two muscle layers work together like a team. But they can only do that if you’re not flooded with adrenaline.

When things go right, the uterus builds up a powerful bunch of muscle at the top, which helps push your baby out in the final stage of labour.

It’s an incredible design — and your body already knows how to do it. Your job is to not get in the way of that process with fear and tension.

Your Other Superpower: Privacy and Safety

There’s another type of muscle involved in birth: sphincters. These are the muscles around your anus and vagina that open during labour.

They’re shy. They don’t respond to pressure or force. They open when you feel:

  • Safe
  • Relaxed
  • Private
  • Supported
  • Confident

If you feel threatened, judged, rushed, or exposed — they can actually close up, even after dilating.

That’s why the people and environment around you matter more than you think.

Preparing for Birth: What Actually Helps

1. Know What’s Happening in Your Body

Understanding how your uterus works takes away the mystery and fear. You stop fighting your body and start working with it. Think of labour as hard work. Not trauma or pain or sickness. Your uterus is working hard, so make it as easy as possible by knowing what’s going to happen, and how to work with your body. Don’t be passive – learn what your body is doing.

2. Create a Calm, Safe Environment

Dim lights. Minimal interruptions. People who help you feel protected and respected. That could be your partner, a friend, a doula — whoever helps you feel grounded.

I hired a Doula for my pain free birth – I knew that if I had an advocate, I would relax. The hospital staff would stress me out! My Doula talked to the staff at the hospital so I did not have to. And she made sure I was cared for in the way I wanted to be.

3. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Use tools that help your body stay loose:

  • Warm baths or showers
  • Breathing techniques
  • Repeating music or sounds
  • Gentle movement
  • Massage

Pro tip: Try practicing with the same song or visualisation throughout pregnancy. Your body will remember it in labour.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for What You Need

If you feel overwhelmed during labour, it’s OK to ask for quiet time to reset. As long as there’s no emergency, you can request privacy and space to let your stress response calm down. It usually takes 20–60 minutes for your body to shift gears.

You Were Made for This

Labour is powerful — and that power comes from you.
It’s not something happening to you. It’s something your body is doing — with incredible wisdom and strength.

Yes, it can be intense. But you don’t have to fight it. And when you give yourself the right support, the right mindset, and the right environment — you can find incredible joy in the process.

Birth doesn’t have to be scary. It can be your moment of power.

You are made to do this. And you just need to let yourself go and allow your amazing body and baby to do what they are perfectly designed to do.

And you get to ENJOY it.

https://books.apple.com/au/book/childbirth-without-fear/id901771563